


Long Way Down

by QuietArtemis



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, probably not, will i ever write something with no ansgt in it?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 06:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19144987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuietArtemis/pseuds/QuietArtemis
Summary: In which Percy is pathetically in love with Newt and scared to do anything about it.Inspired by a song "długa droga w dół" (long way down) by band called happysad.NOT A SONGFIC, I may have woven a quote or two into the fic.





	Long Way Down

I’d never admit it. I’d never say it to his face. He was beautiful and pure and I was old and jaded, hurt in too many ways. He was a wildfire and I was cold ashes. He was everything and more than anyone can ever be or dream to have.

Breathtaking.

Mr. Scamander was just… so wonderful. He rarely smiled but when he did it was warmer and brighter than the sun itself.

He never smiled at me, though. I think he’s scared of me. My reputation does me no favors here since I’m a harsh, law-abiding director. I embody everything he hates and fears. He embodies everything I should disapprove of, like his mischief and penchant for lawbreaking, but I can’t seem to care when he’s around. He does minorly bad things but for a great cause and that’s something I can respect.

I see him sometimes on the corridor or through the windows. He’s in company of one of my aurors, Tina, and her sister, Queenie. He never seems to notice me which feels like both a curse and a blessing.

I wish I had enough courage to even just talk to him, but he’s so skittish when I’m around that I never bother.

Instead, I keep watching him come and go out of the building as he pleases. Sometimes, he takes Tina with him. Other times, he disappears for weeks and I wonder where he is and if he’s well? I could ask one of the Goldsteins but as far as they’re concerned I have no business doing so.

 

A year passed by in a blink. A year full of nightmares, fears and loneliness. I tried and I tried to go on dates, to see people and not be so stuck on this unfortunate infatuation I have. Alas, no one could come even close to Mr. Scamander.

Mr. Scamander… I heard his first name from the Goldsteins and various workers around the Woolworth, but I was never properly introduced to him, so it’s not my right to call him by anything else than his last name.

The way I can’t stop thinking about it makes me even more unworthy to speak his first name.

I often catch myself imagining sleeping by my side, or in various states of undress, or pleasuring him…

I’m so very ashamed of myself. This terrible, consuming need is overwhelming. I want him so very, very badly.

And yet, I see him so often, but meet him so rarely. When he sleeps it’s only ever in the back of my head and if dressed, he’s only half-dressed at best. I know not his taste no matter how often he is on the tip of my tongue.

I spoke to no one about my feelings. It couldn’t be helped, no matter how much I talked or how many good advices would I get. This flame, that burned me so painfully, had to die out on its own.

 

“What’s with that face?” Theseus asked, smiling brightly. How could I tell him I have most amorous and sinful desires towards his brother? He invited me to Mr. Scamander’s flat since he was sleeping there for two more weeks. They were brothers and it would be unbecoming of me to ruin their family time with my selfishness.

Mr. Scamander was currently away, but I heard door opening and felt a bit of dread crawling up my spine.

“It’s nothing,” I lied, taking a sip of firewhiskey. “Everything good at the ministry?”

Theseus snorted and was just about to tell me all about it when door to Theseus’ room opened and Mr. Scamander emerged.

I could very well be the Devil himself with the reaction I gotten. Mr. Scamander looked surprised and pale when he saw me and clearly, I wasn’t a welcome guest.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Scamander,” I said, immediately standing up. “I thought Theseus mentioned to you that he was inviting me, but it seems he didn’t. My most sincere apologies. I’ll take my leave if my presence upsets you so.”

Mr. Scamander’s jaw clenched back and he stared at his brother. Theseus, meanwhile, looked at us like we’re both insane.

“Mr. Scamander?” he asked incredulously and laughed. “He’s my brother, Percy! You can call him by his first name, you stuck up idiot!”

“I-... um, no. I really couldn’t,” I said, awkwardly. “I don’t think your brother tolerates my presence. I don’t want to disrespect him further.”

That put Theseus’ chuckling to a stop and he looked back at his younger sibling.

“Newt? Do you have some animosity towards Percival?” my friend asked.

“Excuse me,” was all Mr. Scamander said before running off to his own bedroom. Theseus looked at me as surprised as I felt.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why he behaved like this. I will figure it out, though,” he promised.

“That won’t be necessary,” I answered, forcing a smile that felt way too bitter. “I will be on my way now. Let’s meet up somewhere else next time so I don’t upset your brother again.”

He only managed a nod and I apparated home in a blink.

 

Next few days were painful. Mr. Scamander’s obvious disdain towards me hurt a lot. I tried to think of any situation where I hurt him or was mean to him or his creatures, but couldn't think of one. Our contact was always very limited. Perhaps, it’s something I did without knowing? Stared at him too hard? My voice was harsher than I intended?

Unsure how to focus, I picked up my violin and played for a while almost every day when thoughts tormented me. My office was sound-proofed so no one could hear me. I’m good at technique, but lacking passion I was told.

Mr. Scamander was had so much of it instead…

I let my mood overtake me for a while. It was a blessing to stop thinking and let the feelings pour out of me, even though the music was sad to my own ears.

I continued on until my hands hurt and put the violin away, unwillingly.

“It was very nice,” I heard a timid voice calling from behind my back. “What’s the song called.”

I turned around and saw Mr. Scamander and Theseus at the door. Some curious aurors peeked in as well until my friend closed the entrance behind them.

Should I answer the question and tell Mr. Scamander the song was named after him?

“It doesn’t have a name. I just… improvised,” I answered, shutting the violin case and putting it back in its place. “Please, sit down. How can I help you?”

Mr. Scamander looked at his brother in anxiety, but Theseus just frowned and nudged him towards the seats. They both sat by my desk, silent for a moment.

“I think there was a misunderstanding,” Mr. Scamander whispered, looking at his own knees rather than at me. “I… I don’t dislike you.”

It was somewhat of a relief to me, but not even close to what my heart yearned for.

“I don’t dislike you either,” I said softly. “I apologize if I made you uncomfortable at any moment. I didn’t mean to. Truly.”

He nodded, silent again for a moment before looking up offering his hand to me. I gladly accepted it. It was warm, slightly calloused and scarred, but also utterly perfect. Heat coursed from the tip of my fingers to the rest of my body like a blessing.

“Call me Newt.”

“Percival.”

Another moment of awkward silence followed until Theseus coughed into his fist, definitely wanting his brother to speak. Newt blushed a little before continuing the conversation.

“Um, you see…” he mumbled, getting redder by a second. “...s-someone mentioned that… you have um, thoughts about me? And I hear all the time you s-s-stare at me a lot and that you p-probably like me.”

I gasped, not expecting to be called out on it. I felt blood draining from my face and my head was spinning.

“Oh! I’m so sorry! I honestly… didn’t mean to put you in such uncomfortable situation,” I explained. “I tried to keep it tightly under wraps and never tried to act inappropriately towards you. My apologies… I will do my best to keep it to myself even more.”

I felt my heart shutter into million pieces. I imagined all sorts of scenarios but not this. I swallowed heavily, looking everywhere but at the brothers.

“You two are so emotionally challenged it’s giving me a headache,” Theseus grumbled, massaging his temple. “Merlin’s beard, put the poor man out of his misery already!”

Newt blushed even more which was almost impressive since I didn’t think he could get any redder than that.

“I-I… I like you, too,” he stuttered out, blushing like a rose.

For a moment, world stopped. I wasn’t sure if I heard it right. He was attracted to me as well? The revelation seemed so insane I thought it was another dream.

“Oh, goodness, you two are so bad at this!” Theseus said, hiding his face in his hand. “I’m out. You guys figure it out on your own before I cringe myself to death. And Newt? You don’t need to come home too soon. Or even today. Maybe even not tomorrow if what I heard about our Percy here is half true.”

With his typical smirk and a wink, Theseus walked out, laughing as Newt called out his name in shock at the innuendo.

“Are you okay, Newt?” I asked politely, smiling and offering him a glass of water. “You are so red in the face I’m worried for your health.”

He took a couple of sips and his blush went down a bit.

“Is it true? What my brother said about you?” Newt asked with this mischievous curiosity of his.

“Ah, well… He might exaggerated a bit,” I said. I didn’t want to brag, honestly. I was good in bed sports, but singing my own praises was unbecoming of a gentleman.

“But you are good?” he pressed and for the first time I saw a sultry look on his face as he stared at me.

“Ah, I suppose it’s not for me to judge what experience other people have with me,” I countered, scratching the back of my head. “I never heard a complaint, that’s for sure.” Which seemed to be enough of an answer to him. Newt stood from his seat and approached me. I just looked at him as he sat in my lap. Gentle hands caressed my cheeks and hair as he leaned closer.

“I’m technically a virgin, but I travel a lot. See a lot. Read a lot,” he whispered, his breath teased against my lips. “I want to try so many things. Will you try them with me? Show me what feels good?”

Sweet Mercy Lewis, I thought to myself, wrapping my arms around his waist. How could he turn around from blushing, shy boy to a seducer was a mystery, but damn me did I love it.

“Sounds like a deal to me,” I grinned and he pressed his lips against mine. Indeed, Newt felt inexperienced, but eager and sweet.

“You have no idea how long I wanted this,” I groaned.

“Oh, I know,” he smiled bashfully. “I don’t think you know how long I wanted you.”

That was a curious thought. I gave Newt a look, imploring him to continue.

“Since when I first saw you at the battlefield. You were tending to Theseus and were pulled away by medics before I could approach you both. I saw you occasionally from afar over the years after that, longing for you… And then, Grindelwald happened. When you were found I wanted to approach you so badly, but I didn’t know how. You’re so wise, brave and handsome it felt scary to tell you how I feel.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“That long?” I asked in disbelief. “Oh, Newt…”

He didn’t let me continue and kissed me hard instead. We spent the rest of the day like this, kissing and cuddling and doing not much else. We yearned for touch, but we were not ready for more than that.

It felt wonderful, nonetheless. For the first time, I felt complete and happy. Newt in my arms was real and not a made up fantasy. I was drunk on his touch, laugh, warmth and gentle presence. I must have had the soppy look I felt I had on my face because he cooed as though he saw something adorable and kissed me.

Falling for him was a long way down, but so very worth it. Even if he never returned my feelings, I couldn’t fall for anyone else as hard as I did for him.

I’d tell him that, in time, but right now I focused on rewarding us both for the heartache our shared stubbornness made us go through. His delighted giggles were a proof I was doing a rather decent job.

 

**Author's Note:**

> My poor brain farted this out after days and weeks of constant stress and anxiety (exams suck).


End file.
